October 26, 2010

This is a day I will NEVER forget. The previous couple of weeks I had been having a little sickness. Like morning sickness.

It was a little thrilling to think that I might be pregnant. I had told Ben a few months before that I just KNEW it was that "time" again. You know....when you know when that little spirit is bugging you that they are ready to come. But Ben talked me out of it. We REALLY weren't in any position to have another baby, financially anyway. We would need to wait til we paid off our car and got rid of a few other bills. And then Dyl would be potty trained blah blah blah....so we continued to "prevent".

Apparantly Heavenly Father knows best....A lesson I am still trying to swallow.

I took a pregnancy test on a Friday, it came back positive. I called the doctor on Monday and they made me an appointment for the following day. I hate the girl doctor SO badly. I knew they were going to ask me lots of questions like what was the first day of your last blah blah blah....(which I had NO idea) and they were going to look....down there....dun dun dun.

When I got to the doc it was your typical pee in a cup, get your weight....(holy crap! Really?!), and blood pressure and such. Then it was, get undressed put this sexy paper nighty on and here is a paper blanket incase your a little more modest then most....

Luckily, I have an awesome Doctor. I Love Doctor Astle, he is so kind. After he did my "exam" He said we were going to do an ultrasound so we knew what my due date would be. and in went the "probe" and up came the picture. He looks at it a minute and says "hmmm..."

"Hmmm...?" I'm thinking, "that's All you have to say?" Then he says and points to the screen, "That there is Definately a baby...but see this sack right here, I'm a little troubled," And my heart SANK, could it be? There is something going to be wrong with this pregnancy? My little unborn baby is at risk for some complication...a million scary things were going through my head and I started to cry a little. Then Dr. Astle says, "see that right there....that my girl is another baby".....probe some more...."Yep, see that little flutter, thats a heartbeat, you are having twins!"

What?!?!? and I started to SOB! and sob, and sob, with deep heaving breaths inbetween. For a VERY brief second it was relief that my baby wasn't going to have some kind of horrible complication and then I was pissed that Ben wasn't there, (even though I told him not to come) and then I was just plain scared. Scared for the pregnancy and all the complications that could arise, scared for the financial burden, scared because we would never beable to afford a new and bigger car, scared I wouldn't beable to be a good enough mother to the two I already had.

 I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen. TWINS! Holy crap. TWINS! What are we gonna do. TWINS! Ben is NEVER going to believe me. When i realized the doctor was staring at me like I was a crazy person I blubbered, "I'm not sad, I'm just REALLY scared. My husband is never going to believe me." and the doctor said, "Thats why we send home pictures," and he gave me the most kind and reassuring smile.

So out came the probe and the doc and I discussed what will likley happen, babies will probably come in May sometime since you don't carry them full term, I will have to get with a multiples doctor, he will see me every four weeks til the first trimester is over then every two after that. He gave me a prescription for prenatals (the hugest pill I have ever seen) and a prescription for Zofran (anti-nausia)

I called ben as soon as I was dressed. He, of course, didn't believe me until I started crying (again). I think I cried all day long. I called my mom, she was so excited. and it gave me hope. She told my dad, he said that it was "such a blessing". My grandma made me say "Honest." and our dear dear friends Dave and Brooke had the next most reassuring smiles for me that day. They helped us out and we are now the proud owners of a bigger vehicle that will hold ALL of us.

It has taken me awhile but I've come to terms with having twins. It will most likely be my last pregnancy. and I'm feeling ok about that. I'm sincerly getting more excited by the day and also more sick. I can't wait. and I am REALLY hoping for at least one little girl.